Anyway two days before Christmas I wrote a list of things that were on my mind while I was in a “timeout” at the restaurant I work at. I sat and people watched all day while selling gift certificates to those who forgot that Christmas is a day you’re generally supposed to give presents on. I wish I had thought of my list earlier because at the time there wasn’t anything of interest to observe.

So on the back of the place mat I wrote down

2 days til christmas

2 days til i’m 19. So I am 19 now and it feels no different than 18 did. I still feel like I’m too young to do anything adult like. I still feel like a teenager, probably because I am one. I dont think I’ll stop feeling like a stupid kid until I turn 20.

I had been saying the Novena to Saint Therese. Apparently if you say this prayer, think of a color rose you want to see, and then ask god for something you will see the rose and your request will be granted on or before the 9th day of saying the prayer. Now I’m not Catholic, or very religious but I figured I’d give it a chance and I picked a white rose. Which my mom gave me a boquet of on my birthday, the 9th day of saying the prayer.

Novena to Saint Therese

St Therese, the little flower,

please pick me a rose from the Heavenly garden

and send it to me with a message of love.

Ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore,

and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more.

That’s the prayer if you ever decide to try it.

I’m really happy that 2010 is approaching quickly. I can’t wait for the new years eve party I’m going to.  New years eve/day always reminds me of this song:

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there are not many girls who enjoy giving bjs. But that could be completely false, I dont know. Anyway so anytime I would perform that particular act on my ex boyfriend, he would never, ahem, finish…And I would be left sitting there feeling like an utter failure.

So jump forward to a month ago. I’m with this new guy who I really really like a lot, and things are getting intense. And so maybe its instinct that takes over and thats why girls do these things but whatever it was I made an attempt on this new guy.

I would like the record to show that I am a freaking rockstar. So I’m on my high horse because not only have I just reached rockstar status, I just gave him his first bj ever and like I said I’m a rockstar. And really I think bjs deserve bowing down at my feet. So obviously I need to dispose of the um…unfortunate side effect of doing this for a guy. So genius grabs a paper bowl, and I thought to myself…okay then. But I mean in his defense he was shaking, and incoherent. That was cute for then…

Until he saw his sheets! OMG. You would have thought I poured hydrochloric acid on his sheets and it was subsequently burning a hole through his mattress. Some of the side effect had escaped me and landed on his sheets leaving a nice little stain. This kid freaks out because he had just changed his effing sheets a week ago. Here I am a rockstar, who should have flowers sent to me, and this kid is flipping out about his own shite getting on his sheets. REALLY? I should have known right then and there this was never going to work. It costs $3 to wash/dry your sheets. OR here’s another though…use another pair until you have a big enough load to do.

Listen, bjs deserve thank you cards, and chocolates, and flowers, and kissing our feet.

or at the very least a “you’re amazing.” not look at my SHEETS!

I think that’s a pretty successful TMI post. Let me know.

so here’s how I see it with technology being so available to us this is how people break up now:

text message (seriously who text message break up? so not okay)

just changing your facebook status

untagging yourself or them from pictures of the two of you

defriending them

(2 new adjectives from the world we live in untagging, and defriending).

Some don’t even have the common courtesy of texting it first they just change their status from in a relationship to single. And you see it on your news feed. OR one of your friends sees it and texts YOU to let YOU know your relationships over.

Seriously if you had the balls enough to see them during your relationship you better have enough to break their heart to their face. Think about it if you’ve been with this person for so extended amount of time and have had strong feelings for them you better see and remember the look on their face when you shatter their heart.

why is facebook now the end all be all?

An aside on breaking up in general, who on earth came up with the idea of letting someone down easy?

The downfalls:

it fails everytime.

you don’t want to be with them anymore then spare them further hurt because they’re hoping you’re gonna come back, just give it to them straight up. When you sugar coat things it just leads to more heartache, and if that’s what you’re truly trying to avoid for the other person then break their heart into a million pieces, don’t just chip away at it. You don’t like them, or want them anymore so just say that.

Stupid Boy:”I like you, but I’m afraid to get attached because I know I’ll like you too much.”

Stupid Girl Who Believes Stupid Boy: “But he said he likes me, so that means he’s just afraid and he’ll come back eventually.”

Stupid Girl’s Friend: “He just got out of a long relationship. Just give him sometime, your fantastic he’ll come back. He’d be stupid not to.”

Spare yourself, he doesn’t want you anymore and he just didn’t know how to break it to you. So instead of being honest he tries to let you down easy. Buy He’s Just Not That Into You, because as they say in the movie honey you’ve just been dumped, and he’s not going to come back. But you are fantastic, and he is stupid not to come back to you, but I promise you he’s not going to. I’m sorry.

Like most people I want my ideas and thoughts to be heard, and that’s not really the point of a journal because that’s strictly personal and no one but yourself will ever read that. Maybe its pretentious to think that people give a damn about what I think, but maybe someone out there will.

I found this website actually by looking up what I thought were song lyrics off of someones facebook status. Turns out they weren’t but it happened to be the name of a girls blog. I started reading what she was saying and wished that I had written what she had. I think we always are drawn to people who are able to express what we wish we could put into words ourselves.

I’m impatient. I want this to look perfect right away. But I really should just enjoy the adventure, I’m guessing half the fun of blogs are to design it to what fits you.

My name is Kirsten. It’s a hard r. If my name was Kristen or Kiersten that’s how it would be spelled. I’m going to be 19 on Christmas. Yes, I’m a Christmas baby. And no I do not get less presents than everyone else. But Christmas shouldn’t be about the amount of presents you receive. My favorite part is watching my 8 year old sister’s eyes light up with the Christmas spirit that only Santa Claus can bring about.

That’s about it for now. peace.